:: netwoman's blog ::

Kids and the Internet - Issues of Trust and Censorship

Liz over at mamamusings is having some internal dialogue with herself regarding her son's internet use.

Liz talks about the usual parental concerns - giving out home phone numbers and addresses (which she deleted), accessing adult sites, and IMing with strangers. Kids are getting better and better at covering their tracks by erasing history, and IMing with many windows that they can hide.

"So I'm caught. On the one hand, I want to encourage his exploration and use of online media and interaction. On the other, he's right - I don't trust him not to make potentially dangerous mistakes. It's not that I don't think he's smart, or savvy, or listening to my warnings. What he doesn't understand - what he can't understand - is how easy it is to be fooled, to be taken in, to be taken advantage of. Especially when you're honest to a fault, as he is - because it's that much harder to really understand just how dangerous and dishonest so many people "out there" can be."

While parents want to desperately trust their kids (me being one of them), it is hard to fight the parental radar that kicks in when your kids are online. Being a parent, I have the same concerns, but I refuse to install any software that supervises or censors use. Why? Because I think that communication between us is important. I constantly reiterate that there are people out there who want to hurt children, and he is careful about giving out information. In some sites, you need to give out postal codes (zip codes) to register. This tells people exactly where we are. We have a system where he puts in my university postal code, or the shopping centre's postal code.

Liz is concerned with what is "out there". Granted, there is considerable media-hype (lots of new commercials on this) about strangers luring children and teens into danger. Yes, the "out there" is dangerous, but so is the "right here", the wackos living down the street, the strangers in the park, in the school yard and at the grocery store. How do we mediate this "out there" and "right here" fear?

Miriam Jones says this in the comments:
"We can't prevent them from gaining access if that's what they want. What we can do, if we're not careful, is put barriers in place so that they are uncomfortable coming to us. I think what you are doing is exactly right: lots of honest discussion, a prudent amount of parental supervision, and the establishment of good communication so that you and he can deal together with anything that arises."

Good point. Communication is important.

Here is an interesting comment from Fivecats:

"There's an impression, I think, that the boys will be searching out inappropriate viewing materials while the girls are at greater risk for inappropriate conversations and/or being preyed upon by unscrupulous adults."

Do parents have different concerns for their sons then their daughters? why?

In my own research, I look at the Internet in the home, and one of the things that I am asking my respondents is who is responsible for their children's internet use, and what are the parent's main concerns? Leave me a comment if you have thoughts...

posted by Netwoman @ 9:49 AM